If It Hurts You, It’s Not a Favor

By Tara Overzat

I’ve been quiet on this blog lately for a couple of reasons. One of which is that I have a couple of book manuscripts I have been working on, but the other is that I was considering the feelings of a family member who after not speaking to me for a very long time, rang me up to discuss this site. In considering this family member’s feelings, I stopped writing for a little bit.

But, like I have said before on this site, child abuse thrives on silence. On secrecy. On being too afraid of what someone will say or do to you.

If you ask me to stop helping myself and others, then fall off the face of the planet again, then why did I stop in the first place? The “favor” you ask of me is to shut up and sit down. And when I do, you disappear again. You don’t support me. You don’t maintain a relationship with me. Remind me why should I do you a “favor” again?

Anyone who asks you to do something that hurts you, or is a huge step backwards for you, is not your friend. This person does not have your best interest at heart, only their own.

Who’s Your “Best Friend?”

By Tara Overzat

“Who’s your best friend?” can be a common question when you’re a kid in school.

With my mother pretty much forbidding us from socializing outside of the home (except on rare occasion) until I forced the issue at 14, my honest answer to that question was, “No one.”

That was hard for me. Read more »

Dissociation & Avoiding Derealization

By Tara Overzat

Another coping strategy I used as a child was dissociation. I daydreamed a lot. By daydreaming I could have fun and do things while being quiet (silence was what all the adults in my life wanted Read more »