Numerous scholarly articles have stated that not only is child abuse underreported (here and globally) but so is child sexual abuse.

My own sexual abuse is difficult to talk about. But I can say that looking back, I am incensed at the pediatrician in the town I was raised in for the first several years of my life who didn’t take any legal action when he treated me for the aftermath.

Why? It may have been that my family’s last name was known in this town. The doctor retired when I was about 5. Maybe he was just getting too old to cause a stir. Maybe he thought foster care would be a worse alternative than the hell I was already living in.

This man is probably long since dead, so I will never know what went through his mind in not reporting what happened to me. I will never know if he was bribed by my father. I will never know if it was just a sign of the times, that in the 1980′s it was still too taboo for a doctor to press on when he knew something was wrong.

What I do know is that what he did was not only cowardly, but illegal. If doctors and teachers will not be vigilant in reporting abuse, children will grow up into scarred adults, at risk of abusing alcohol and drugs. In the worst scenarios, these children die before reaching adulthood.

It does take a village to raise a child, and a healthy community is one in which we do not turn a blind eye to people in danger- whether it is abused children, abused spouses, or at-risk teens.

Many of us who are survivors of parental abuse come away feeling that we are defective. That our parents must have seen something so horrible in us that not even they could bring themselves to love and protect us. Even though this is untrue, this false belief can follow us well into adulthood.

A seventeen year old girl, who wishes to remain anonymous, shared her story with me below.

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I am only 17 years old an I live my life in fear of what is going to happen next. From the age of 10, I have suffered emotional abuse, my parents call me ugly, fat. tell me that I am worthless and that if I ever leave no one will want me, I have also been physically abused, pushed down the stairs, beaten til I’m on the floor crying from the pain, sometimes its jsut a small hit but other times it worse and I fear for my life. The most recent incident left me with a bruised face, black eye and bruises down my back, I was in a lot of pain and found it difficult to concentrate on work and other stuff that was going on around me. I have also been sexually abused by my dad, this is the worst to be honest I would rather be beaten than go through this, it completely messes with your head and can really damage you. I have always blamed myself for the abuse I have suffered.

There was one point where I actually took an overdose to try and numb all the pain and cry out for help, I have found it extremely difficult to ask for help even though people have offered it, I find it difficult to follow anything through and I end up back at square one again, I believe it’s because of everything that my parents have said to me I believe them I believe I’m not wanted and just everything they say to me, it’s hard to believe that people do want you and do care when near enough all your life you have been told the complete opposite. I have noticed that people I have spoken to have expected me to believe that they do care but it’s the hardest thing to realise and sometimes you only realise when they have gone out of your life. By going through all this I have learnt how to put on act and cover everything up so no one realises what is really going on, I pretend I’m confident and happy while I’m at college but on the inside I’m dying every time something happens its as if apart of me breaks.

At the moment I am trying to help myself by seeking counselling, I feel this is going to help me break the attachment I have with my parents and realise what they have really done to me, after this I do hope to leave and get out for good and never look back.

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Counseling is something many of us are scared to do. It almost seems easier to keep everything down and carry on as best we can through our days. I think this young woman has made an important first step in overcoming what was done to her and working on leading a healthy adult life.

Child abuse: A cause of borderline personality disorder?

Wikipedia has an in-depth article on its site, excerpted below:

Childhood abuse, neglect or separation

Numerous studies have shown a strong correlation between child abuse, especially child sexual abuse, and development of BPD.[6][52][53][54][55] Many individuals with BPD report having had a history of abuse, neglect, or separation as young children.[56] Patients with BPD have been found to be significantly more likely to report having been verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually abused by caregivers of either gender. They were also much more likely to report having caregivers (of both genders) deny the validity of their thoughts and feelings. They were also reported to have failed to provide needed protection, and neglected their child’s physical care. Parents (of both sexes) were typically reported to have withdrawn from the child emotionally, and to have treated the child inconsistently. Additionally, women with BPD who reported a previous history of neglect by a female caregiver and abuse by a male caregiver were consequently at significantly higher risk for being sexually abused by a noncaregiver (not a parent).[57] It has been suggested that children who experience chronic early maltreatment and attachment difficulties may go on to develop borderline personality disorder.[58]

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We should always remember that we have the ability to choose our actions, so these findings are in no way a life sentence. However, it is so important to have scientific evidence that validates why mental illnesses like BPD occur. Understanding the cause of our present-day pains and frustrations is a crucial first step to eliminating them.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Everyday I drive past cars with bumper stickers and ribbons for autism- where are the ribbons about child abuse? As we see in this video, if people only open their eyes, tragedy can be averted.